Things that Helped Us -
messages from the website
Although nothing will "make it all better", and it is
important to let the pain of loss come and experience your
grief - here are some things that can help along the way.
- I took a leave of absence to focus on my family. During
this time we joined a gym where we could go and exercise as a family. For
me there was time for reflection as I walked on the treadmill or ran the
track, time for celebrating my love for my husband and daughter as we
played together in the pool.
- At the urging of my friends I created a scrapbook of my
daughter's life. We look at it from time to time to feel more in touch
with her. It's also a way for my youngest daughter to learn about her
sister.
- I also put special things (outfits, toys, cards, her
baptism gown and candle) in a chest. I don't take them out much but
knowing they are there and safe is comforting.
- I planted a garden at Emma's grave. I like to garden and
I choose colors and objects an infant might like.
- I wrote in a journal (still do) to help me get my
feelings out. I don't worry about what I write or how. Putting something
down helps me from getting stuck on something. It gives me a sense of
accomplishment or it helps me feel that I am doing something with my
feelings.
- I saw a professional for over a year on a regular basis
to help me learn to live with my daughter's death. I don't feel "ok" about
her death and I'm not over it but I'm able to find a place and time for my
thoughts and feelings about what happened and not have it be the focus of
each day. It helped me to keep being a mother and wife and not just a
crash survivor.
- Reading books is where I learned that other people had
experiences and feelings like mine helped me feel less alone.
- Share things that you found helpful with others - write
to people who have had a similar loss, volunteer, advocate for vehicle
safety.
- I found that writing letters of thanks and making
collages with photographs were good therapy
- After my nephew died we found an essay about a family
camping trip and a picture. Several of us had the picture tattooed
on our shoulder. We now have a permanent angel on our shoulders.
- My faith is what really got me through.
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Please email things that helped you work through your
grief. Thank you. |
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